Monday, October 13, 2008

Disappointment


Last week was a hard week and so today’s post won’t be funny.

There hasn’t been much laughing in the Moritz household for the last seven days. 

It’s been there for sure (with kids it always is) but it’s been more like islands in a big ocean. 

Truth be told, we, and lot of people we love, are feeling disappointed with God.

I know this may seem like a shocking confession, but it’s an honest one. 

The stories, if they had happened to a single person, would add up to a modern-day Job.  From our friends who are dealing with addiction, cancer, a miscarriage at 32 weeks, and infidelity, to our own unexpected job news and bleak financial forecast, it has been, as I’ve already said, a hard week.

This past Saturday I realized that I’m actually part prairie dog…or some other burrowing rodent.  All I wanted to do was find a hole and hide from the collective weight of the prior week. 

The universal sentiment expressed from everyone has been, “I thought my life would look different, God.”  

Depending on the day, Laura and I have felt the same way. 

Not coincidentally, during all of this, I’ve been preparing for Christmas. 

For any of you who read my Facebook status, you’ll know that this has been another point of contention between God and me this week. 

Fall is supposed to be cold.

Not 83 degrees. 

But I digress. 

So, this morning, as I sat down with my coffee…in a t-shirt….I began reading the Gospel of Luke.  And that’s when I realized something. 

I was reading the Christmas story with full knowledge of the ending.

I was forgetting that the people who lived through it had no idea how things were going to turn out.  And so for them, the greatest expression of God’s love seemed like the greatest disappointment. 

They expected a messiah who would come and free them from Roman oppression. 

They got a baby in a feeding trough. 

They expected a scholar. 

They got a carpenter. 

They expected prosperity. 

They got a homeless man. 

They expected handsome. 

They got mildly, “inoffensive-to-look-at” at best. 

They expected someone religious. 

They got a “friend of sinners”. 

In short, they expected everything they could ever dream of, and instead they got……

God.

What a disappointment.

The amazing thing is that, through all the devastation of past week, through all our disappointment, God, just like he did that first Christmas, has been initiating greater intimacy with us. 

I’ve been praying more than I have in a long time.

Everyone, whose stories I mentioned, has been. 

And all of us are learning that God is not a God of expectations. 

He is God. 

Period.

You see, for the brief moments that I’ve been able get my head above the waters of fear and disappointment, I’ve seen that God is still working. 

I just don’t know the end of this chapter yet.  

3 comments:

erintumlin.blogspot.com said...

adam.
i am right there with you.
thanks for the honesty of this post,
it really ministered to me and i appreciate the hope and encouragement you gave and reminded me of.

Anonymous said...

Hey Adam,

I'm praying for you and Laura. I don't know what's going - I don't need to because God does. He will hold you through all of this! And you're right - God is God. Period.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this, Ad - it is sometimes so hard to see what the big picture is, or might be, when you're in the midst of discouragement, disappointment, fear... you name it. Being able to trust that it's all happening for a reason and that, though we don't know what the end of the story will be, we can be sure that it's part of a bigger story - well, that's a big 'trust' but hopefully it's helping. Love you lots.